Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Happy Holidays!

As the holidays fast approach, many of you who subscribe to this page and related sites, will not see your children this season. Those of you who do, may only see them briefly or perhaps under awkward circumstances. Those remaining who, to the untrained eye, may appear to enjoy more normal contact with your once alienated children, may see signs of the trauma and distortion of thinking that often remains the artifact of parental alienation. Finally, there are probably some of you who have watched your children go through all of these phases, and somehow come out the other end, effected in ways but no longer damaged.

The message I wish to convey is that regardless of where you and your children are in this progression, it is a progression. It is always moving and changing, even in spite of appearances to the contrary. With movement there is life and there is hope.

Happy Holidays!

3 comments:

debbi said...

Thank you for the heartfelt and important insights. It is often bewildering and overwhelming, and a light in the darkness that you provide is welcoming.

There Goes my Life said...

PLEASE HELP ME!

http://theregoesmybabiesmylife.blogspot.com/2010/12/there-goes-my-life.html

caroline said...

Brief and awkward... Such is certainly the case... the sadness of the visit's temporality penetrated every aspect of our holiday with questions of "when will we get to see you again?", "how many days will we be here?", "I wish we could stay longer", "Can't you ask the judge to let us stay", "how many days until we have to leave?" The happiness is only a superficial but absolutely necessary dance of appreciation for the moments spent together. Moments that are not unmolested by the omnipresence of the Alienator/ would be Terminator. Three years have gone by with each year adding more distance between their hearts and minds and mine. It'll be 2 1/2 months before we visit again and there's no guarantee that the visit will take place without a battle. There will be no phone calls or contact allowed in between; no communication as to their health, school progress or daily growing pains and triumphs. The only hints of what is going on come through the mail as Explanations of Benefits from the insurance company or reluctanct conversations with the equally alienated school principal or propogandized texts from the alienator. I miss my boys every minute and agonize over things I should have done differently and feel sorry that they must suffer for it. So far, despite my efforts, I have been unable to make my ex-husband foster my contact with the children or stop harrassing me every day with abusive and obscene text messages. All of my resources of time, finances and energy are expended in this matter; to support the children and maintain my contact with them. There is nothing left-over to fight for justice... Yet... I will never, never, never give up...