I recently received a comment from a viewer regarding a video that I had posted. The comment said that PA and PAS was junk science and that protective parents had been accused of alienating their children from the otherwise abusive spouse wrongly. Sadly, I am sure that this has happened. However, as is repeatedly made clear in the literature, Parental Alienation should never be considered when real abuse does in fact exist. This is one key method to ruling it out. It is only to be considered when the allegations of abuse are false. Let me repeat that: Parental Alienation should only be considered when the allegations of abuse are false. When real abuse exists, parental alienation does not.
Therefore, when this sort of criticism arises, it suggests that the phenomenon of one parent influencing a child to become alienated from the other parent is somehow bogus, as though this never occurs. I believe that it is important to state that virtually all legitimate published expert opinion which is based on a great deal of literature and research, clearly recognizes that the phenomenon of parental alienation does in fact exist. One parent, under the right circumstances, can indeed influence a child to think badly about and eventually even reject that other parent. No reputable source would disagree with this. Therefore because of the fact that allegations of parental alienation may be falsely and illegitimately made, is not justification for eliminating the entire argument. Such an argument would be tantamount to saying that because some children have been erroneously diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, that ADHD does not exist.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
New Course for Newbies and Neophytes
I have just completed a new audio course that describes the dynamics of Parental Alienation.
One of the things that occurs almost universally, is the phenomenon of the Targeted Parent having those in their lives who do not really "get it." I believe that all will agree that this phenomenon is so powerful and bizarre that those that have not seen it up close may have a hard time really understanding what is occurring. Therefore I have created a new audio course that is very conversational in nature, and I believe easy on the palate of understanding. I have made it as digestible as I know how, using elements of the other courses but putting them in a not too overwhelming format.
I believe likely candidates could be family members, lawyers, guardians, mental health professionals who have not had much traffic with these issues, as well as school teachers who become entangled in these cases. I believe that this course hits the mark, and as always, I look forward to your feedback.
I have entitled this course, "Parental Alienation: A Primer"
I wish you all well.
One of the things that occurs almost universally, is the phenomenon of the Targeted Parent having those in their lives who do not really "get it." I believe that all will agree that this phenomenon is so powerful and bizarre that those that have not seen it up close may have a hard time really understanding what is occurring. Therefore I have created a new audio course that is very conversational in nature, and I believe easy on the palate of understanding. I have made it as digestible as I know how, using elements of the other courses but putting them in a not too overwhelming format.
I believe likely candidates could be family members, lawyers, guardians, mental health professionals who have not had much traffic with these issues, as well as school teachers who become entangled in these cases. I believe that this course hits the mark, and as always, I look forward to your feedback.
I have entitled this course, "Parental Alienation: A Primer"
I wish you all well.
Friday, March 6, 2009
A Word About Cost
One of the most pernicious problems associated with dealing with Parental Alienation in the courtroom is cost. These cases can be very expensive. An attorney’s success is premised on him or her being well prepared, which requires significant time and money. Experts are often part of the mix, which also represents added expenses. It is therefore reasonable to question the necessity of hiring an additional person to the team in the form of a consultant, when there is already so much expense.
However, in cases involving Parental Alienation, the experienced consultant – properly having both extensive clinical and professional experience with Parental alienation, as well as considerable time in the courtroom – can actually reduce cost. A common example can perhaps make this clear. As noted above, Expert witnesses are often required in these cases. When an experienced consultant is not involved, this typically takes the form of the attorney finding and hiring the expert, usually from a pool of forensic experts in the given community. If the local experts do not have adequate experience in Parental Alienation, then the attorney is faced with trying to find such an expert who can then be imported for the purpose of litigation. Depending on the attorney’s network of such experts, his or her degree of understanding of the issues, and his or her time in finding such an expert, the expert is eventually found. Once this occurs, the attorney educates the expert about the case and then sends them voluminous documents about the case for their review. Having served in this capacity, I can attest that the preparation required to be able to testify in such a matter can and often is a great many hours of reading over documents that may or may not be germane to the issue. This review and preparation time consists of the expert organizing, reviewing and sifting through all of the documentation in an effort to prepare for testimony. This process can and often takes many hours and typically costs thousands of dollars. This is, of course, even before any conclusions and opinions are hatched. Once this happens, then the expert and the attorney will spend significant time in consultation with each other for strategic and preparatory purposes. This can also take hours and thousands of dollars.
This process is however different with a consultant on board. First, the consultant would take responsibility for finding the best and most viable expert - either locally or not – based on the issues involved. This selection process involves matching the expert to the issue being argued, which should not fall onto the attorney, who could not be expected to know such subtle differences. Even the best prepared attorney should not be expected to be able to perform this function. With the consultant on board, the attorney expends none of their billable time on such a search, yet ends up with a more thoroughly researched choice of experts. Secondly, the consultant would have already reviewed and boiled down the issues and the specific documents that would be necessary for the expert to review and would be able to present it to them in their “own language.” Less time is therefore spent getting the expert up to speed since they do not have to start from scratch. The case is presented to him or her by the consultant who has already pre-digested it. The preparatory time for the expert is therefore significantly reduced to sometimes a fraction of what would have been the case were the consultant not involved.
Friday, January 9, 2009
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know: Welcome to Family Court
You don’t know what you don’t know. Let me repeat that. You don’t know what you don’t know. At first glance, this would appear to be a truism, or an obvious statement. However, while it is obviously true, it far from obvious. In fact, as we move through the minutes and hours of our days, we encounter countless ambiguous or unclear situations and circumstances. In an effort to understand the many ambiguous piles around us, we sort them and stack them into orderly piles by making specific assumptions about their meanings, so as to make them sensible to us. This is an automatic cognitive reflex for us humans and we do it thousands of times daily. In the process of doing this, the assumptions that we use become the building blocks of the edifices that we construct that then forms our reality. We use these assumptions to bridge the spaces that we do not know, thereby creating a level of greater comfort for ourselves. We do this so quickly and seamlessly that it is mostly beyond our own notice. It makes us feel better, perhaps more in control.
For example, if one assumes that the court system, by its design and operation, has a way of revealing the truth of a given situation, this assumption would orient how one goes into court. One would go into court with the belief that simply being candid and honest is sufficient to the revealing of the truth. This assumption, after all, is very much supported by taking the oath to tell the truth, the rules of evidence, and other judicial inventions. The machinery of this is, after all, supposed to grind out the truth. Perhaps the reader, by virtue of having found and read this, has a reaction to this position at this moment.
However, if the assumption that the court system, and its operation is supposed to operate in this fashion, but that it, in fact does not, then one would approach the courtroom with a very different orientation. One would be much more cautious and vigilant to understand exactly how it did work, as opposed to how it is supposed to work. Under this circumstance, one might well look to one’s lawyer to be a guide to explain just how it does work. This certainly sounds reasonable. However, such a position would be based on the assumption that the lawyer actually did understand the true workings of the court, was willing to share them with you, and actually did so. These are all things that you simply do not know.
The late, brilliant and albeit eccentric British psychiatrist, R.D. Laing wrote, “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.” By this, he meant that it is only when we truly realize and accept that we cannot actually know what we cannot see, that we can begin to remove the blinders that this creates. This paradox of embracing the blindness in order to gain sight, is of crucial importance. Yet this insight comes with a price. It is characterized by tireless skepticism and testing. It is themed by such questions as, “what do you base that on?”, and “why?” This state of mind is uncomfortable, difficult to maintain and exhausting, especially in times of stress, like during a divorce. Due to all of this difficulty we humans are therefore easily seduced by untested assumptions that promise a wealth of certainty, yet may well end up being the next Ponzi scheme. We are suckers for this. We are human.
But enough of Philosophy 101. What does this have to do with Family Court, parental alienation, and looking to the court intervene to return your child to you? Everything. The Family Court System is a very specific environment whose true rules of operation are unstated and are, in fact, quite contrary to those which are stated. For example, one often hears the remark that you can or cannot “prove” parental alienation in court, as if this question was critical to being successful in court with parental alienation. In actual fact, the ability or inability to “prove” the presence of parental alienation in a specific family case is very much secondary to the issue of getting the court to “believe” that parental alienation is present. What we very often find is that what one can or cannot prove in family court is quite different than what one can get a very human Judge to “believe.” The rules of evidence and the evidence code do more or less rule the issue of proof, but the subjective impact of causing the audience (the Judge) to believe your story is more the province of emotion, presentation, and even theater. These are, in fact, the principles – emotion, presentation, and theatrics - that predict outcome in Family Law cases where parental alienation is present. Not the law.
Perhaps surprisingly, competent Family Law attorneys very often do not understand this. They believe that outcome is predicted by the “rules” and the application of the law to the facts of the case. If this, in fact, should be so in a given case, it is due to the fact that the legal case happened to agree with the emotional presentation that successfully made the Judge “a believer.” We see over and over that when these two levels disagree – that is when the legalistic level disagrees with the emotionally related “story” - that the subjective emotional level trumps the legal one. Family Law cases involving parental alienation provide abundant example of this. Oddly, the lawyers are often as surprised by unwanted outcome as are their clients. Sadly familiar examples abound. Visitation between parent and child are regularly interrupted when doing so is completely at variance with the conditions that are to be met by the law. Orders of Protection are routinely given when there is no evidence of threat or event a hint at one. Custody is often changed when the burden of “change of circumstance” has been in no way met or even addressed. Visitation Orders are ignored by the very court that issued them for no legal reason whatsoever. False abuse allegations are rarely if ever prosecuted in spite of statutory language that requires prosecution. The list goes on.
The significant fact here is that these anomalies are not anomalies at all. They are the predictable outcome of a “sub- logic” that exists beneath the level of the law, has nothing to do with the law, and is often at odds with the law. Welcome to Family Court.
For example, if one assumes that the court system, by its design and operation, has a way of revealing the truth of a given situation, this assumption would orient how one goes into court. One would go into court with the belief that simply being candid and honest is sufficient to the revealing of the truth. This assumption, after all, is very much supported by taking the oath to tell the truth, the rules of evidence, and other judicial inventions. The machinery of this is, after all, supposed to grind out the truth. Perhaps the reader, by virtue of having found and read this, has a reaction to this position at this moment.
However, if the assumption that the court system, and its operation is supposed to operate in this fashion, but that it, in fact does not, then one would approach the courtroom with a very different orientation. One would be much more cautious and vigilant to understand exactly how it did work, as opposed to how it is supposed to work. Under this circumstance, one might well look to one’s lawyer to be a guide to explain just how it does work. This certainly sounds reasonable. However, such a position would be based on the assumption that the lawyer actually did understand the true workings of the court, was willing to share them with you, and actually did so. These are all things that you simply do not know.
The late, brilliant and albeit eccentric British psychiatrist, R.D. Laing wrote, “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.” By this, he meant that it is only when we truly realize and accept that we cannot actually know what we cannot see, that we can begin to remove the blinders that this creates. This paradox of embracing the blindness in order to gain sight, is of crucial importance. Yet this insight comes with a price. It is characterized by tireless skepticism and testing. It is themed by such questions as, “what do you base that on?”, and “why?” This state of mind is uncomfortable, difficult to maintain and exhausting, especially in times of stress, like during a divorce. Due to all of this difficulty we humans are therefore easily seduced by untested assumptions that promise a wealth of certainty, yet may well end up being the next Ponzi scheme. We are suckers for this. We are human.
But enough of Philosophy 101. What does this have to do with Family Court, parental alienation, and looking to the court intervene to return your child to you? Everything. The Family Court System is a very specific environment whose true rules of operation are unstated and are, in fact, quite contrary to those which are stated. For example, one often hears the remark that you can or cannot “prove” parental alienation in court, as if this question was critical to being successful in court with parental alienation. In actual fact, the ability or inability to “prove” the presence of parental alienation in a specific family case is very much secondary to the issue of getting the court to “believe” that parental alienation is present. What we very often find is that what one can or cannot prove in family court is quite different than what one can get a very human Judge to “believe.” The rules of evidence and the evidence code do more or less rule the issue of proof, but the subjective impact of causing the audience (the Judge) to believe your story is more the province of emotion, presentation, and even theater. These are, in fact, the principles – emotion, presentation, and theatrics - that predict outcome in Family Law cases where parental alienation is present. Not the law.
Perhaps surprisingly, competent Family Law attorneys very often do not understand this. They believe that outcome is predicted by the “rules” and the application of the law to the facts of the case. If this, in fact, should be so in a given case, it is due to the fact that the legal case happened to agree with the emotional presentation that successfully made the Judge “a believer.” We see over and over that when these two levels disagree – that is when the legalistic level disagrees with the emotionally related “story” - that the subjective emotional level trumps the legal one. Family Law cases involving parental alienation provide abundant example of this. Oddly, the lawyers are often as surprised by unwanted outcome as are their clients. Sadly familiar examples abound. Visitation between parent and child are regularly interrupted when doing so is completely at variance with the conditions that are to be met by the law. Orders of Protection are routinely given when there is no evidence of threat or event a hint at one. Custody is often changed when the burden of “change of circumstance” has been in no way met or even addressed. Visitation Orders are ignored by the very court that issued them for no legal reason whatsoever. False abuse allegations are rarely if ever prosecuted in spite of statutory language that requires prosecution. The list goes on.
The significant fact here is that these anomalies are not anomalies at all. They are the predictable outcome of a “sub- logic” that exists beneath the level of the law, has nothing to do with the law, and is often at odds with the law. Welcome to Family Court.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Why Do I Need Consultative Services with My Parental Alienation Case?
Some may wonder: Why is it helpful to have a consultant in addition to my attorney in a
case involving parental alienation? There are several reasons. A few are listed below.
First, cases involving parental alienation virtually always find the targeted parent being falsely vilified in some manner. Experience has taught that if this is not properly dealt with, these false allegations never tend to “go away.” When handled properly, these false allegations can actually work on your behalf. The way that is done is not standard operating procedure within Family Law. These issues require an approach that may seem even unwise to your attorney, so you, as a client would be hard pressed to have such a conversation with your attorney. This is best handled by a consultant with expertise in parental alienation. I have found that once this occurs, the attorney realizes that such consultative input can be of significant value. I had one attorney refer to my role as consultant as the “secret weapon” in the case.
Second, since the targeted parent finds themselves in the disadvantaged position of having to constantly defend themselves against various false allegations, a significant amount of preparation in warranted in identifying these critical points and developing strategies or countermeasures for their defeat. This is almost never done adequately. Rather, it is typically done in a more knee-jerk fashion, if it at all. To insure that this is done properly, a strategy worksheet is developed which identifies these specific issues, and then develops specific strategies that are ready and waiting for use. For example, let us imagine that there have been abuse reports filed falsely, and that concern exists that these reports (regardless of their findings) will be used to cast an atmosphere of doubt and concern about you as a parent. In such a case, the countermeasures might include detailed investigation into the specifics of the reports, their sequence, and history, to create an understanding of the pattern of vilification that they create. Another countermeasure might be to consider an independent Psychological Evaluation which is focused on the specific allegations contained in the abuse reports, with an eye to reveal how out of character such behaviors would be. A third countermeasure might be to look for other patterns of misrepresentation engaged in by the other/alienating parent that would reveal this tendency to misrepresent events as a strategy to hoodwink the court. When these three strategies are prepared for and developed, a positive outcome is much more likely. However, given the busy schedules of most attorneys, the development of these strategies is typically considered a luxury, when in fact, they actually are more of a necessity for success. The specific role of the consultant is to provide just this layer of preparation and pre-warning into the litigation process.
Thirdly, you do not know what you do not know. When entering into the environment of Family Court, one relies on the advice and guidance of one’s lawyer to shepard one through the process. One must recall that Family Lawyers are Lawyers and not mental health professionals. Attorneys often make strategic decisions within a case and present the result of their decision to their client, precluding the client from the decision making process. For example, let us suppose that a custody dispute is under way and that parental alienation is present. Depending on the area, and personal preferences of the lawyer, it might be suggested that a Guardian be appointed vs. a Custody Evaluator to help the court in determining what is best for the child. In cases with parental alienation, the wrong choice on this question can seriously sabotage the case, however the reasons for this may be completely outside the expertise of the otherwise competent family lawyer. In these instances, the involvement of an experienced consultant can be invaluable. There are many other examples where otherwise insignificant or pedestrian choices, which would make little difference if the case did not include parental alienation, would be devastating in a case with parental alienation.
Fourth, in cases involving parental alienation, therapists, evaluators, and guardians are not created equal. While the vast majority of these professionals would attest some level of familiarity with parental alienation, experience has shown that the vast majority of these professionals do not truly “get it.” This is routinely devastating to these cases, with these therapist, evaluators, and guardians, becoming a voice in the chorus of the alienation, rather than the voice exposing it. One task that can be performed by the consultant is to research, interview and evaluate who truly does and who does not “get it.” This is not something that an attorney can be expected to be able to do, but it is of vital importance. It is not something that the client can do as well, however for other reasons. This task is something that the experience consultant can do with confidence.
While other areas of law (criminal, civil litigation) utilize consultants with great frequency, such is not the case in Family Law. Experience has taught however that when parental alienation is present in a case, such expertise is extremely valuable. Cases involving this problem are quite specialized and have an entire body of information that, if used properly, can have extremely beneficial effects on case outcome. Such utilization however, requires preparation, an overall case strategy and specific tactical
case involving parental alienation? There are several reasons. A few are listed below.
First, cases involving parental alienation virtually always find the targeted parent being falsely vilified in some manner. Experience has taught that if this is not properly dealt with, these false allegations never tend to “go away.” When handled properly, these false allegations can actually work on your behalf. The way that is done is not standard operating procedure within Family Law. These issues require an approach that may seem even unwise to your attorney, so you, as a client would be hard pressed to have such a conversation with your attorney. This is best handled by a consultant with expertise in parental alienation. I have found that once this occurs, the attorney realizes that such consultative input can be of significant value. I had one attorney refer to my role as consultant as the “secret weapon” in the case.
Second, since the targeted parent finds themselves in the disadvantaged position of having to constantly defend themselves against various false allegations, a significant amount of preparation in warranted in identifying these critical points and developing strategies or countermeasures for their defeat. This is almost never done adequately. Rather, it is typically done in a more knee-jerk fashion, if it at all. To insure that this is done properly, a strategy worksheet is developed which identifies these specific issues, and then develops specific strategies that are ready and waiting for use. For example, let us imagine that there have been abuse reports filed falsely, and that concern exists that these reports (regardless of their findings) will be used to cast an atmosphere of doubt and concern about you as a parent. In such a case, the countermeasures might include detailed investigation into the specifics of the reports, their sequence, and history, to create an understanding of the pattern of vilification that they create. Another countermeasure might be to consider an independent Psychological Evaluation which is focused on the specific allegations contained in the abuse reports, with an eye to reveal how out of character such behaviors would be. A third countermeasure might be to look for other patterns of misrepresentation engaged in by the other/alienating parent that would reveal this tendency to misrepresent events as a strategy to hoodwink the court. When these three strategies are prepared for and developed, a positive outcome is much more likely. However, given the busy schedules of most attorneys, the development of these strategies is typically considered a luxury, when in fact, they actually are more of a necessity for success. The specific role of the consultant is to provide just this layer of preparation and pre-warning into the litigation process.
Thirdly, you do not know what you do not know. When entering into the environment of Family Court, one relies on the advice and guidance of one’s lawyer to shepard one through the process. One must recall that Family Lawyers are Lawyers and not mental health professionals. Attorneys often make strategic decisions within a case and present the result of their decision to their client, precluding the client from the decision making process. For example, let us suppose that a custody dispute is under way and that parental alienation is present. Depending on the area, and personal preferences of the lawyer, it might be suggested that a Guardian be appointed vs. a Custody Evaluator to help the court in determining what is best for the child. In cases with parental alienation, the wrong choice on this question can seriously sabotage the case, however the reasons for this may be completely outside the expertise of the otherwise competent family lawyer. In these instances, the involvement of an experienced consultant can be invaluable. There are many other examples where otherwise insignificant or pedestrian choices, which would make little difference if the case did not include parental alienation, would be devastating in a case with parental alienation.
Fourth, in cases involving parental alienation, therapists, evaluators, and guardians are not created equal. While the vast majority of these professionals would attest some level of familiarity with parental alienation, experience has shown that the vast majority of these professionals do not truly “get it.” This is routinely devastating to these cases, with these therapist, evaluators, and guardians, becoming a voice in the chorus of the alienation, rather than the voice exposing it. One task that can be performed by the consultant is to research, interview and evaluate who truly does and who does not “get it.” This is not something that an attorney can be expected to be able to do, but it is of vital importance. It is not something that the client can do as well, however for other reasons. This task is something that the experience consultant can do with confidence.
While other areas of law (criminal, civil litigation) utilize consultants with great frequency, such is not the case in Family Law. Experience has taught however that when parental alienation is present in a case, such expertise is extremely valuable. Cases involving this problem are quite specialized and have an entire body of information that, if used properly, can have extremely beneficial effects on case outcome. Such utilization however, requires preparation, an overall case strategy and specific tactical
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Two Courses Completed - Two New Courses
As you may know, we have just completed two courses that are currently available for purchase. They can be found on the link to the www.overcomingparentalalienation.com website. Each course is composed of three one hour sessions, and are downloadable to your computer. The courses are: Treatment of Alienated Children: What Works, What Doesn't, and Why and Family Court: What Works, What Doesn't and Why. In the first course, the current treatment modalities are reviewed, as are all the various treatment strategies. Inquiry is made into learning the ingredients for success in the treatment of alienated children. There are clear answers here, and this course identifies what to look for and what to avoid. The second course addresses how the Family Court System operates. It is well known that Family Court is probably the most unpredictable court system of all. The reasons for this are made clear, and, in spite of this quality, the basic principles for success are identified. Many are surprised to learn that these elements have less to do with the law and the facts of the case than they do with the case presentation.
The feedback received thus far has been very positive. I very much encourage your feedback on all of the courses offered. I learn a great deal from hearing your thoughts and suggestions, and appreciate your unique perspectives. Even though PAS is a very patterned phenomenon, it is also the case that all situations are unique, within this pattern. It is this uniqueness that helps us to further understand, so your feedback is appreciated.
I am also excited to announce that two new courses are under construction, as we speak. They are each two hours in length (two one hour sessions). The first course (being recorded December 3 and December 10) is entitled: Parenting Alienated Children. The second course is also in reference to the Parenting of Alienated Children, but is specifically focused on the unique challenges of the upcoming holidays. Both of these courses are focused on the "do's and don'ts" of dealing with children when contact may still be occurring, but with the children being alienated from you. We will discuss the behavioral principals that have been shown to be most effective in this challenging context. We will use real life situations and discuss the various options in their management, and walk through specific examples. Information about these courses can be gotten by contacting us through the website, as the details have not yet found themselves onto the site.
The feedback received thus far has been very positive. I very much encourage your feedback on all of the courses offered. I learn a great deal from hearing your thoughts and suggestions, and appreciate your unique perspectives. Even though PAS is a very patterned phenomenon, it is also the case that all situations are unique, within this pattern. It is this uniqueness that helps us to further understand, so your feedback is appreciated.
I am also excited to announce that two new courses are under construction, as we speak. They are each two hours in length (two one hour sessions). The first course (being recorded December 3 and December 10) is entitled: Parenting Alienated Children. The second course is also in reference to the Parenting of Alienated Children, but is specifically focused on the unique challenges of the upcoming holidays. Both of these courses are focused on the "do's and don'ts" of dealing with children when contact may still be occurring, but with the children being alienated from you. We will discuss the behavioral principals that have been shown to be most effective in this challenging context. We will use real life situations and discuss the various options in their management, and walk through specific examples. Information about these courses can be gotten by contacting us through the website, as the details have not yet found themselves onto the site.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Why Consultative Services?
Why Do I Need a Consultant?
First and foremost, if you were searching for information about Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome, it is likely that you may be personally concerned about these issues in your own life and family. If so, it is vitally important that you realize that the specific issues that appear in alienation cases are very different than those arising in even a contentious divorce when alienation is not an issue. A few examples may be illustrative.
It is well understood that visitation interference is a central theme is alienation cases, as are false allegations of abuse. If one’s attorney is not familiar with this, it is very likely that improper advice will be given, such as “not making waves,” that the “kids will come around” and “not to make an issue of a little bit of visitation being missed.” If alienation was not present in an ongoing divorce, this advice would be very likely appropriate. However, if alienation is afoot, such advice could likely begin an avalanche of loss in a parent’s relationship with their children during and after divorce. Many otherwise competent and experienced attorneys who are unfamiliar with PAS will make this error in advice and unwittingly trigger such an avalanche of loss.
In the context of high conflict divorce where alienation is present, it is well understood that false allegations of abuse against the Targeted Parent abound as a strategy to gain advantage in the custody dispute. If an otherwise competent attorney however not intimately familiar with alienation, is representing a client who has been wrongly accused of being abusive to their child, they might very well recommend that that client agree to say, an Anger Management Course, so as to placate the other side and to convey to the Court that their client is being responsible. Such advice is commonly given even though the client in question does not have an anger problem. Such advice might also be given as a means for that client to have visitation, perhaps supervised, rather than have the visitation completely cut off. Again, if alienation was not present in a case, such advice could be sound under certain circumstances. However, if alienation is present, such advice would very likely stigmatize that parent in the perception of the Court as being an angry and difficult parent, when this is not the case, causing further injury to the relationship with the child. Further, such advice, perhaps resulting in unnecessary supervised visitation, would likely send a message to the child that this parent is perhaps “scary” or somehow inferior. Why else would they need a supervisor? In other words, such advice would ironically act in the service of the alienation.
As further example, imagine that the Court has ordered a Custody Evaluation or therapy for an alienated child. If an otherwise competent therapist, who is however unfamiliar with alienation, was appointed, it is likely that they would take a position of supporting the child’s resistance to seeing the Target Parent, essentially treating that child as if they had been the victim of domestic violence when such was never the case. Likewise, an otherwise competent Evaluator who is however unfamiliar with alienation and PAS, would very likely take the child’s complaints about the Target Parent at face value without ruling out bona fide abuse and otherwise negative parental behavior. Such an evaluation would then yield recommendations that likewise would support and even encourage the alienation.
Finally, it is important to understand that dealing with alienation and PAS in divorce are very specialized areas, in both the legal and the mental health arenas. Therefore, it is vitally important to understand that these competencies should not be assumed in the selection an attorney or in the selection of a mental health professional. Having been directly involved in the training of both attorneys and mental health professionals regarding PAS, Dr. Bone has developed an acute sensitivity to these issues of professional awareness and professional performance concerning alienation in the context of divorce. If anything, one should assume that most attorneys and most mental health professionals are not familiar with parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). This is a much safer operating assumption that the reverse.
As a consequence of this state of affairs, consulting services to parents, their attorneys, and to mental health professionals has become the primary focus of Dr. Bone’s work regarding Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Selection of Professionals
Over the years, Dr. Bone has developed networks of other professionals who are experienced in the problem of alienation. Through these networks, as well as through other means, both attorneys and mental health professionals can be interviewed and screened by Dr. Bone regarding their familiarity with alienation and PAS. This “initial filtering” process helps a parent who may be dealing with alienation to avoid falling into the “blind spots” of both attorneys and mental health professionals that may be simply unfamiliar with the peculiarities of parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Consultation with the Attorney
Competent attorneys welcome and are not threatened by consultative input. When one considers that a busy family lawyer becomes involved in PAS cases in only a relatively small percentage of their cases, it is easy to understand how it would be impossible for even the most competent family lawyer to keep up with the latest developments involving the litigation of PAS. In addition to this purely “informational” purpose, the consultant can also help the lawyer with the development of case strategy, with knowledge of what has actually been successful in other cases.
Most experienced attorneys will be the first to recognize the level of complexity and specificity that is involved in successfully litigating one of these cases. In the capacity of consultant, Dr. Bone typically reviews documents, pleadings and reports, and makes specific recommendations regarding expert testimony, review of expert work product and consultation with experts perhaps already appointed on your case. Through this strategy, the legal system becomes educated about PAS one case at a time, leaving in its wake, newly educated professionals and parents.
Litigating a complex family law case has been described in the following terms. Imagine a jigsaw puzzle with a thousand pieces, and the attorney is only allowed to use ten of the pieces, yet must still accurately convey the picture of the puzzle to the court, using only these ten pieces. The process of selecting which ten pieces is enormously complex and vexing. The skill of “breaking the code” of which pieces to select, and which not to become distracted by, is a skill that is based on a level of experience that can only be developed by being “in the trenches” in the Courtroom for many years. Dr. Bone has served in all of the capacities for which he now consults. After all, even the most seasoned and experienced family lawyer has only litigated cases involving PAS in a fraction of his or her cases. Virtually all of Dr. Bone’s experience is born of dealing only with these cases in multiple states.
Review of and Trial Preparation For Extant Expert Witness Work
In most ongoing litigation there are already existing mental health professionals involved with the case. The experienced consultant can help the attorney with critique of adverse witnesses as expressed in the analysis of expert reports, analysis of past testimony, and the development of cross examination questioning, as reflected by the current standard of care. Additionally, the consultant can work with mental health professionals also involved in the case, but who may not be knowledgeable of the latest research and related matters regarding PAS.
Consultation for the Litigation Process
One of the most valuable functions served by the consultant has to do with the development of general case strategy, which points are most important to emphasize and which are not. One of the biggest challenges that the Family Attorney faces is in reducing huge amounts of information and presenting it in a way that tells the story of the case in its most compelling terms. If PAS is not involved in a case, this challenge is still present. However, if it is involved, the challenge is even greater and the likelihood increases that the case presentation and focus become distracted and that the fragmentation increases dramatically. The reason for this is that alienation cases typically have huge amounts of information to be organized and somehow presented in a concise manner.
In addition to these overall litigation strategy services, the experienced consultant can also become deeply involved in the “nuts and bolts” of the case in the form of witness coaching, development of cross examination questions for adverse witnesses and related activities.
Cases involving Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) typically have mental health professionals already involved in the case, who may be otherwise competent, but naïve to PAS. Such therapists may find themselves treating a child who has become alienated from the one parent due to the actions of the other parent. These therapists, otherwise competent but naïve regarding PAS, often side with the alienated child’s resistance to seeing the unwanted parent, believing that they are “protecting” the child from the other parent, when in fact there is no danger. In PAS cases, these witnesses become “adverse witnesses,” unwittingly supporting the alienation. In the context of litigation, the attorney for the alienating parent is often able to persuade these therapists to offer an opinion that supports the child’s not seeing that parent, even though they have never even spoken to that parent. Once a therapist has done this, he or she has committed significant ethical errors, that should diminish their credibility. However if the attorney for the alienated parent is not aware of the ethical intricacies of this process, this therapist’s opinion would go unchallenged, and potentially do great damage to the case. Exposing these ethical gaffs are extremely important to the truth of the case as it is understood by the Judge, however these types of ethical errors often go unchallenged. The consultant seasoned in PAS would not allow this process to go forward unchallenged.
Consultation With and Training of Mental Health Professionals Involved in the Case
In the process of having becoming involved in many PAS cases in multiple states, it is striking how many potentially good clinicians are available, except for the fact that they have not had the experience and guidance to know how to handle these difficult cases. Many years of experience has taught that well intentioned, otherwise competent (yet untrained in the area of alienation) professionals have sometimes even unwittingly done harm, and have inadvertently worked in support of the alienation.
Again, very competent therapists, however not experienced in dealing with alienated children, will often ironically support the alienation. Likewise, evaluators naïve to PAS will assume most, if not all, allegations of abuse to be valid and accurate, and will not have the tools to effectively evaluate this and to rule it in or rule it out. Therefore, finding a PAS savvy evaluator is critical.
Finally
There once was a time when, if faced with the process of divorce, one could just pick up the phone, call an attorney and they would “handle it.” In today’s environment of an over 50% rate of divorce, both parents vying for the custodial rights over their children, and record levels of abuse reports of all types, such a strategy to just let the attorney handle it, is perilous. In today’s current environment, it is wise to have an experienced consultant, familiar with both the legal arena as well as the mental health arena, to serve as a consultant or perhaps a case manager to advise all on the team. As noted above, when alienation is involved, failure to have PAS savvy professional advice can be disastrous.
First and foremost, if you were searching for information about Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome, it is likely that you may be personally concerned about these issues in your own life and family. If so, it is vitally important that you realize that the specific issues that appear in alienation cases are very different than those arising in even a contentious divorce when alienation is not an issue. A few examples may be illustrative.
It is well understood that visitation interference is a central theme is alienation cases, as are false allegations of abuse. If one’s attorney is not familiar with this, it is very likely that improper advice will be given, such as “not making waves,” that the “kids will come around” and “not to make an issue of a little bit of visitation being missed.” If alienation was not present in an ongoing divorce, this advice would be very likely appropriate. However, if alienation is afoot, such advice could likely begin an avalanche of loss in a parent’s relationship with their children during and after divorce. Many otherwise competent and experienced attorneys who are unfamiliar with PAS will make this error in advice and unwittingly trigger such an avalanche of loss.
In the context of high conflict divorce where alienation is present, it is well understood that false allegations of abuse against the Targeted Parent abound as a strategy to gain advantage in the custody dispute. If an otherwise competent attorney however not intimately familiar with alienation, is representing a client who has been wrongly accused of being abusive to their child, they might very well recommend that that client agree to say, an Anger Management Course, so as to placate the other side and to convey to the Court that their client is being responsible. Such advice is commonly given even though the client in question does not have an anger problem. Such advice might also be given as a means for that client to have visitation, perhaps supervised, rather than have the visitation completely cut off. Again, if alienation was not present in a case, such advice could be sound under certain circumstances. However, if alienation is present, such advice would very likely stigmatize that parent in the perception of the Court as being an angry and difficult parent, when this is not the case, causing further injury to the relationship with the child. Further, such advice, perhaps resulting in unnecessary supervised visitation, would likely send a message to the child that this parent is perhaps “scary” or somehow inferior. Why else would they need a supervisor? In other words, such advice would ironically act in the service of the alienation.
As further example, imagine that the Court has ordered a Custody Evaluation or therapy for an alienated child. If an otherwise competent therapist, who is however unfamiliar with alienation, was appointed, it is likely that they would take a position of supporting the child’s resistance to seeing the Target Parent, essentially treating that child as if they had been the victim of domestic violence when such was never the case. Likewise, an otherwise competent Evaluator who is however unfamiliar with alienation and PAS, would very likely take the child’s complaints about the Target Parent at face value without ruling out bona fide abuse and otherwise negative parental behavior. Such an evaluation would then yield recommendations that likewise would support and even encourage the alienation.
Finally, it is important to understand that dealing with alienation and PAS in divorce are very specialized areas, in both the legal and the mental health arenas. Therefore, it is vitally important to understand that these competencies should not be assumed in the selection an attorney or in the selection of a mental health professional. Having been directly involved in the training of both attorneys and mental health professionals regarding PAS, Dr. Bone has developed an acute sensitivity to these issues of professional awareness and professional performance concerning alienation in the context of divorce. If anything, one should assume that most attorneys and most mental health professionals are not familiar with parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). This is a much safer operating assumption that the reverse.
As a consequence of this state of affairs, consulting services to parents, their attorneys, and to mental health professionals has become the primary focus of Dr. Bone’s work regarding Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Selection of Professionals
Over the years, Dr. Bone has developed networks of other professionals who are experienced in the problem of alienation. Through these networks, as well as through other means, both attorneys and mental health professionals can be interviewed and screened by Dr. Bone regarding their familiarity with alienation and PAS. This “initial filtering” process helps a parent who may be dealing with alienation to avoid falling into the “blind spots” of both attorneys and mental health professionals that may be simply unfamiliar with the peculiarities of parental alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Consultation with the Attorney
Competent attorneys welcome and are not threatened by consultative input. When one considers that a busy family lawyer becomes involved in PAS cases in only a relatively small percentage of their cases, it is easy to understand how it would be impossible for even the most competent family lawyer to keep up with the latest developments involving the litigation of PAS. In addition to this purely “informational” purpose, the consultant can also help the lawyer with the development of case strategy, with knowledge of what has actually been successful in other cases.
Most experienced attorneys will be the first to recognize the level of complexity and specificity that is involved in successfully litigating one of these cases. In the capacity of consultant, Dr. Bone typically reviews documents, pleadings and reports, and makes specific recommendations regarding expert testimony, review of expert work product and consultation with experts perhaps already appointed on your case. Through this strategy, the legal system becomes educated about PAS one case at a time, leaving in its wake, newly educated professionals and parents.
Litigating a complex family law case has been described in the following terms. Imagine a jigsaw puzzle with a thousand pieces, and the attorney is only allowed to use ten of the pieces, yet must still accurately convey the picture of the puzzle to the court, using only these ten pieces. The process of selecting which ten pieces is enormously complex and vexing. The skill of “breaking the code” of which pieces to select, and which not to become distracted by, is a skill that is based on a level of experience that can only be developed by being “in the trenches” in the Courtroom for many years. Dr. Bone has served in all of the capacities for which he now consults. After all, even the most seasoned and experienced family lawyer has only litigated cases involving PAS in a fraction of his or her cases. Virtually all of Dr. Bone’s experience is born of dealing only with these cases in multiple states.
Review of and Trial Preparation For Extant Expert Witness Work
In most ongoing litigation there are already existing mental health professionals involved with the case. The experienced consultant can help the attorney with critique of adverse witnesses as expressed in the analysis of expert reports, analysis of past testimony, and the development of cross examination questioning, as reflected by the current standard of care. Additionally, the consultant can work with mental health professionals also involved in the case, but who may not be knowledgeable of the latest research and related matters regarding PAS.
Consultation for the Litigation Process
One of the most valuable functions served by the consultant has to do with the development of general case strategy, which points are most important to emphasize and which are not. One of the biggest challenges that the Family Attorney faces is in reducing huge amounts of information and presenting it in a way that tells the story of the case in its most compelling terms. If PAS is not involved in a case, this challenge is still present. However, if it is involved, the challenge is even greater and the likelihood increases that the case presentation and focus become distracted and that the fragmentation increases dramatically. The reason for this is that alienation cases typically have huge amounts of information to be organized and somehow presented in a concise manner.
In addition to these overall litigation strategy services, the experienced consultant can also become deeply involved in the “nuts and bolts” of the case in the form of witness coaching, development of cross examination questions for adverse witnesses and related activities.
Cases involving Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) typically have mental health professionals already involved in the case, who may be otherwise competent, but naïve to PAS. Such therapists may find themselves treating a child who has become alienated from the one parent due to the actions of the other parent. These therapists, otherwise competent but naïve regarding PAS, often side with the alienated child’s resistance to seeing the unwanted parent, believing that they are “protecting” the child from the other parent, when in fact there is no danger. In PAS cases, these witnesses become “adverse witnesses,” unwittingly supporting the alienation. In the context of litigation, the attorney for the alienating parent is often able to persuade these therapists to offer an opinion that supports the child’s not seeing that parent, even though they have never even spoken to that parent. Once a therapist has done this, he or she has committed significant ethical errors, that should diminish their credibility. However if the attorney for the alienated parent is not aware of the ethical intricacies of this process, this therapist’s opinion would go unchallenged, and potentially do great damage to the case. Exposing these ethical gaffs are extremely important to the truth of the case as it is understood by the Judge, however these types of ethical errors often go unchallenged. The consultant seasoned in PAS would not allow this process to go forward unchallenged.
Consultation With and Training of Mental Health Professionals Involved in the Case
In the process of having becoming involved in many PAS cases in multiple states, it is striking how many potentially good clinicians are available, except for the fact that they have not had the experience and guidance to know how to handle these difficult cases. Many years of experience has taught that well intentioned, otherwise competent (yet untrained in the area of alienation) professionals have sometimes even unwittingly done harm, and have inadvertently worked in support of the alienation.
Again, very competent therapists, however not experienced in dealing with alienated children, will often ironically support the alienation. Likewise, evaluators naïve to PAS will assume most, if not all, allegations of abuse to be valid and accurate, and will not have the tools to effectively evaluate this and to rule it in or rule it out. Therefore, finding a PAS savvy evaluator is critical.
Finally
There once was a time when, if faced with the process of divorce, one could just pick up the phone, call an attorney and they would “handle it.” In today’s environment of an over 50% rate of divorce, both parents vying for the custodial rights over their children, and record levels of abuse reports of all types, such a strategy to just let the attorney handle it, is perilous. In today’s current environment, it is wise to have an experienced consultant, familiar with both the legal arena as well as the mental health arena, to serve as a consultant or perhaps a case manager to advise all on the team. As noted above, when alienation is involved, failure to have PAS savvy professional advice can be disastrous.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
