Friday, December 25, 2009

Holidays for the Targeted Parent

Each year about this time I have every intention of creating some sort of conversation, or an audio course, or something that addresses the uniquely piercing experience of the Targeted Parent during these holiday times. While, as you look around your world, it may seem like the neighbors and most strangers are having a very different holiday experience than you are, I would offer you this. If we have learned anything from the growing research regarding the alienated child's inner experience, we have learned that the surface behavior of the child is only part of the story. Granted, it is a big and often loud part, but it does not overtake the entirety of the child's experience. We have learned that, even when there is no outer splinter of evidence of the child still being connected to the targeted parent, we now know more clearly than ever that it is most likely still there, albeit silent and mute. Therefore, even in the absence of all evidence to the contrary, the deeper reality is f that the powerful connections of early childhood are still there.

Therefore, if I can offer anything during these holiday times it would be to suggest that this quiet but clear reality be focused upon. I would ask that you try to locate this and try to take refuge in it.

1 comment:

Patricia said...

I had almost 8 years of contact with my daughter and I know she isn't looking for me because of her father. I started a blog where I write letters for her since when I got back to Brazil after enduring a few death treats from her father. it was a matter of running or fighting a lost fight. I still have the photos of her big and beaultiful smile when she was with us and thats the memory that keeps me going. My other two girls and my husband keep me grounded.
This is a great blog, very clear of what we go thru, but why is it so difficult to the courts to realize that ??